I cannot believe that a year has passed since I’ve been on here! It’s time again to raise awareness for #NationalInfertilityAwarenessWeek.
While I’m thrilled to share the news about our rainbow baby, I first want to send all the love in the world to those of you going through the throes of infertility. It’s one of those life experiences that nobody wants to be a part of. My heart goes out to you. I pray that you will always hold on to hope.
How did we get here? Wow. The world really turned upside down since we last caught up. COVID and its chain of events really put the brakes on our plans to move forward after our last egg retrieval in January 2020. Eventually the dust settled, and we started the transfer process in late August. I was trying my hardest to remain positive by this point. It felt like I was starting to reach a state of desperation. I wasn’t sure how many more times I had the strength to go through this. I remember telling myself that I needed to be OK with the fact that this might not work out. 2020 made me realize how lucky I was to have so many good things in my life. Just because I wanted motherhood, didn’t mean that I could make it happen. And that had to be OK.
That said, I was thrilled to be going to the doctor again. I didn’t mind the 2-hour drive to NYC, the meds, or the side effects. I was just so happy to finally be back on the road to again. After months of waiting, I was elated to go in for my first monitoring appointment. Sadly I was told that I had an ovarian cyst and that the cycle had to be canceled. I was crushed—but luckily a few years of this process has taught me to expect the unexpected. Thankfully, we were able to start the transfer prep again in a few weeks. This time everything looked good, and we were officially cleared for a transfer!
We went in for our third embryo transfer on October 6th. Admittedly, I had grown a bit weary of the process. Wearing scrubs, getting rolled into the procedure room, and signing that bleak paper of post-op care instructions had all become a little too familiar. Every time I felt the fear of past failures creep in, I tried to take a breath, remind myself of how much possibility there still was, and acknowledge how lucky we were to be here in the first place. I’m a strong believer in how your mindset can change everything. A shift in perspective is sometimes all it takes to regain your strength and carry on. Thankfully, everything went smooth, and we left feeling in love with our little white speck on the ultrasound image. We could only hope it would soon grow into our dream baby.
After two very long and very slow weeks later, we left our house early in the AM to go in for our first pregnancy blood test. I vividly remember experiencing some spotting that same morning. I had the exact same spotting my first two times, and it ended up just turning into my period and a negative test. I was convinced that this too had failed. The cyclone of emotions and the anger was just too much to process. I reluctantly completed the blood test and waited for the official results later that day. I started preparing myself for news I didn’t want to hear.
To say the least, I was absolutely shocked when the nurse called to tell me I had a positive result! I even asked to make sure they had the right patient! I ran over to David and just sobbed uncontrollably. It literally felt like all the pain and hurt I’d been holding in my body was suddenly released. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. We celebrated, cried, laughed, and told our closest family members. That said, I knew the road was still very long ahead, so I made sure to guard my heart as we waited to go through the first series of doctor’s appointments.
I sit here today 30 weeks pregnant with a healthy, kicking, growing baby boy. I am still amazed by the fact that we’ve been blessed with a healthy pregnancy. I’ve cherished every single moment of growing this little life. After a 3-year struggle…I really just can’t wait to meet him! Thank you all for your prayers for us and for always checking in. We appreciate it more than you know.
I know I am one of the lucky ones. I will continue to use my voice to raise awareness for infertility. There’s so much work to be done, so many stories to be heard, and so much change to be made.
Join me by donating to Bundle Of Joy Fund this week to help couples afford fertility treatments. Every little bit helps change the tide of this issue that affects so many.
Also, in case you missed the first half of our infertility journey you can read about it here.